Have you ever thought about posing for a figure drawing class?
the only time i think about that is when people ask me if i’ve ever thought about it. and it’s one of those questions i hear just about every time i go out busking, or tell someone i perform as a living statue. sure, i’d be good at it, i can sit still for long periods of time. but sitting still while a bunch of people stare at me in silence… i can’t think of many things that would be more boring. i like living statuary because being still, combined with costuming and makeup, creates an illusion. i like being something unexpected, strange, beautiful, memorable. i like hearing people talk about me, argue about me, blurt things out in a moment of uncensored expression. i like being able to interact with people, to blow them kisses, to shake their hands, to give them hugs, to playfully lean on them like they’re a piece of furniture when they come up to get their picture taken with me. i like being the art. pose for a class? that sounds about as interesting as watching paint dry.
How do you feel about photographers?
i love love love photographers. especially the ones who actually send me the photos they take, or posts them in an easy-to-find place on the internet. i do ego searches on flickr often, deviantart and photobucket maybe once or twice a year, occasionally a general google search, etc. where else do y’all upload your photos?
sometimes i don’t like photographers, amateur or otherwise, at waterfire after sunset when everybody’s using a flash. that kind of sucks. i understand everybody wants to take pictures, but seriously, it’s ridiculous when there’s a flash going off literally every few seconds. you’re blinding me. i’m seeing spots for ten minutes after everybody’s done taking photos. please try to be considerate with your camera flash usage, folks.
i generally will not hesitate to pose for a quick photo while i’m on a break. but if you don’t ask, you’re an asshole. i get so many people who just start taking pictures while i’m trying to drink or eat or talk to my assistant/companion or whatever. clearly some of you don’t know this, so i’m gonna go ahead and tell you. i want you to remember this, it’s very important information. ready? i can see you! when i get down for a break, i want to just be a person and relax for ten minutes. by taking snapshots of me at this time without saying anything or asking if i would mind, you are now treating me like a monkey in a zoo. this kind of behaviour is in the same category as people who talk about me when they’re all of two feet away from me. i’m gonna tell you another secret. it’s just as important as the other one, but apparently even fewer people know this. i can hear you! imagine that. the living statue can see and hear. amazing, isn’t it?
we’ll save discussion regarding the even lesser known fact that i can feel you poking and grabbing me for another day.